The importance given to sons in comparison with daughters in our social set up, especially in the lower middle class is not a well-guarded secret and mothers have no qualms about blatantly pampering sons and pandering to their whims. They are clearly treated as the superior members and from early childhood it is emphasized upon the daughters that their first priority should be serving their brothers and never questioning their behavior.
Starting from birth sons are made to feel superior and taught that being served by the sister is their inherent right
This mentality is prevalent in almost all lower middle class households and every girl has the same story to tell and the same predicament to live through. Starting from birth sons are made to feel superior and taught that being served by the sister is their inherent right. They have to be offered the best part of meat, the roti has to be hot and all served in a princely manner. It is beside the point that most boys of that income group do not engage in gainful employment and the entire day is spent loitering in the neighborhood and indulging in some sort of entertainment, yet when they return home in the evening they are given the same respect as head of the family and their actions never questioned.
They are at work the whole day long, facing challenges like inhuman working hours.
It takes time to comprehend the culture and the working style of peers
Nowadays the common norm is for the girls to work and be the bread earner for the family, yet this does not earn them the respect which they so deserve. They are at work the whole day long, facing challenges like inhuman working hours, unreasonable bosses and at times harassment, yet when they return from work there is no empathy for them and they are quickly transformed from the provider to the housewife and expected to do the kitchen chores as well.
It is ironic that though the entire household expects them to be the bread earner and cater to the needs of the family, yet they are not allowed to make decisions for themselves and they are quickly transformed from bread earner to “ghar kee larki” dependent on the parents and brothers for life changing decisions. The famous “ghairat” of the family is immediately activated if the girl wants to marry somebody of her choice, the same ghairat which lies dormant when she is travelling daily by public transport and being harassed and groped.
This culture is being cultivated since decades in this part of the world and gender superiority has emerged as one of the most harmful social evils. The birth of a girl is considered no less than a calamity and in many households it has even resulted in drastic reactions like divorce. The young mother giving birth to a girl is stigmatized and is not allowed to live in peace till the much awaited son is born and there is utter indifference to her health.
Eliminating this evil is more than merely a huge challenge, as though its prevalence is most obvious in the middle and lower middle class, yet it exists in varying degrees in almost all classes and gender superiority has been accepted as a norm. Social evils can only be eliminated by individual effort and we can contribute by not accepting this and influencing the people we come in contact with. We need to realize that complacency and acceptance has strengthened this norm and made it an integral part of our thought process, thus contaminating society.
